I'm so riddened with emotion right now

I'm beginning the countdown when we break the news to my little sister that she's not going back to UT Austin for the Fall and that instead, she'll go to her home university. It's been pretty overwhelming for me for the most part today stressed out about what her reaction might be. Knowing her she'll definitely throw supersized temper tantrum at our mom and possibly me when I intervene. Yes I realize that I set the bad example here by not giving in and leaving UT even after things were going down the drain. But life isn't always fair, as put together by one of my colleagues a few weeks ago. She was like "life isn't fair deal with it". Somehow I'm gonna have to sink that into my sisters pea-brain. She doesn't realize that her future is at stake here. All I know is that that spoilt rotten attitude will never help her raise that 2.1 GPA of hers, meaning if mom and dad send her back they are only hurting her future. And somehow I'm gonna have to help her realize that. *sigh* hopefully the task of convincing her that staying at home for college is the right solution won't be as daunting as I perceive it to be.

Destroy the Magic and then move on to beat the Lakers Celts!!!

I just realized that quotations are another life carrier. Yes the size and composition of your network define you and move your journey, and yes they are also potential life careers, but the quotes that you here from wise men from all different parts of the world and different time periods are what really take you places. The psychology behind that is very intriguing and I would be more than flattered to learn more! I'll admit, in the past I used to underestimate quotes, never giving them much importance but then this initial attitude got erased after stumbling upon this packet full of stapled pages with lots of quotations on them. Apparently the assistant center director of my employer was who distributed it to us. It had all these interesting and meaningful quotes that I shudder to think what I'd do if I were to throw them away. So I've decided to pile it up in my cupboard and in the mean time WIKI WIKI WAA WAA.

So tomorrow job fair number deux is coming up and I'd say I'm moderately confident about it. A friend of mine was at least generous enough to stop by after a hectic schedule only to advise me on how to act during the interview. It was truly informative for me as I stumbled upon this revelation that it is my body language that invokes mischief in the kids. Yes prior to commencing my permanent substitute gig I'd hear pointers such as "Don't smile" but never "You have to walk and talk a certain way". Thank God I finally heard those from someone. Because yes classroom management is key in fetching a job. If you can't manage a freakin' classroom then your pretty much tossed outta the race already. I'd say that I can but thankfully my certification area is in math and job opportunities in that area are abundant! So even if I'm not perceived to be a pro in managing a classroom by the recruiters I'll still be in demand and my chances of getting hired will skyrocket from 10% to 75%, *gulp* at least I hope. But a gigantic area of weakness for me being tensed while not entering the interview room confidently. I'd say it would be in my best interest to practice walking and changing my demeanor in such a way where the kids will realize, okay he is not someone I can mess with. Because the principal, and other recruiters of the school will expect the candidate to view them as students and to speak and act in a manner that one would in a classroom. And so I'm gonna deliver!

I had one of the most bizarre dreams last night. Or maybe it was today morning as I kinda overslept and was late in picking up the housekeeper. Anyway I was hanging around some variation of my poolhouse and all of a sudden I notice these two people just floating in the water without movement. This stoner like blond guy and this beautiful Hispanic girl were about ten meters apart from eachother in the pool and was as if they both passed out of hypothermia. Anyway two or three days passed and while I was at the party there they were still except this time they sunk a little. So I go and reach for the girls hand while part of her head and arm were still visible in the pool and then they both gradually sink into the water, I try to hold the girls hand to attempt to pull her up but it just slips away as they boy and girl descend rapidly. So I start to stick my arm in there hoping I can still reach for it but I can't feel a thing! So I call a security guard and inform him and we try and search for them the only problem is that the waters are murky and not a sight of those two. He doesn't even bother to dive into the water to rescue them he just tells me that there's nothing and leaves. Hours later, numerous people including police were on the scene with bodybags after they have finally been found. And then I wake up really shaken up about that whole dream. I just really hope I don't have one of those in a long time.

The Thunders are triumphing so far over the Lakers at halftime and hopefully the Thunders maintain that fire throughout the game and the remainder of the Playoffs. Kevin Durant is proving to be a GOD at such a young age!! magnifico!!! And Russell Westbrook is like BANG. "Look out cuz here I come penetrating through the paint making that motherfuckin shot whether you like it or not".

You know there is another topic I'd like to touch bases on. And it is about Indian Americans or Asian Americans living away from their parents in the same city. It probably is commonsome these days but the concept is surely foreign to most of us. As immigrants, our parents stand firm in their conservative values, and expect us to do the same. But in reality it just isn't possible. We're all at equilibrium between Indian culture and American culture or at least we should be. But lot of times this become extremely difficult and so we move out at some point but is this really a good idea? For those living in big cities such as Detroit, LA, New York City, and even Houston yes it probably is. I mean the traffic and the size of the freakin cities will surely keep the parents on their rocking chairs till midnight. But for us small towners it's a challenge! Cuz even if we do move into our own crib there is the danger of our parents creepin up on us like every fuckin weekend just to see how we're doing. And when I say danger I mean it in the most subtle way. Worst case scenario is where you shack up in your own crib and your mom or dad drops in asking if they can slumber over?! And they cook biryani or some type of kung pau chicken and stink up the whole place. Yeah that would feel wicked awkward. So yeah hopefully I scurry away from town and don't fall into any such mouse traps! And I got some GOOD NEWS: Durant and his Thunder beat those Lakers. Hell to the fuckin YEAH!!!

I feel very fatigued right now, like Paul Bunyan fatigued. That's right I'm feeling the giants' fatigue right now. Today was totally awkward. I'll elaborate more and that later. I also feel saddened by the fact that I won't be able to make it to the UT prospective students campish tomorrow at South Padre Island. I would've fuckin j'adored the opportunity unfortunately I'll have to work at that exact same time. PHOOEY! I was thinking maybe I'd jet just for this fabulous occassion but who in the right mind would ever sacrifice pay just for a volunteer event. But baby this ain't just your ordinary volunteer event it's platinum folks seriously!!! I'm realizing more and more everyday how much I love mentoring others about college and its rigors. Perhaps it has a lot to do with my personal experiences and I'd like to use it to reach out to other students.

I feel practically mutilated right now. Hell who am I kidding I don't wanna study for that damn certification exam. Perhaps I have a minor case of the procrastinators syndrome I don't know. Whatever it is I don't wanna study period! I'd say I have over-the-edge math skills to the extent where I screw the long hours of cramming that come with the study package. But then again, I'm not as fluent as I thought in Statistics and apparently there is more to Probability. Let's see I plan on taking this exam the following Monday, which gives me ample time to prepare. And I'm starting to feel so drowsy as well but no slacking will have to be my temporary motto. There has been so much on my mind lately. One of them including how to make extra money. My think-tank was saying I should sell all the books I don't need to Half-Price Books. Don't know how much money I'll receive but hopefully enough for my welfare. Yes enterprises really do turn on me such as generating a cash cow for instance. I'm not so turned on by the idea of inventing a product and then selling it at a bargaining price, but the process is quite intriguing. Social entrepreneurship kicks way more ass to me however and always will!!! Guess I'll just whip out my crappy headphones and listen to some electronic gold. mmmmmmmmm

Uncanny Encounters

My libido just had to be stationed in hibernating mode the other day, as I went to a concert with a 17-year old. It's not that I wanted to it's just that I loathe being aloof at such occassions. Can't believe I chose craigslist as my avenue to locate a concert date; felt rather odd as I was a stranger to this whole process. I've learnt overall that craigslist is diminishing in it's effectiveness. I mean, seriously let's be honest here, had I used craigslist like eight years ago in fetching a buddy to share a night out with I would've maximized my results! Meaning, I could've earnt myself a blind date or even better a hottie! But now turns out that that is just virtually impossible. I mean I did get responses from women to go see John Mayer live they just delayed getting back to me. And so the only option I had remaining was taking this 17 year old girl with me. As usual, I play the role of the mentor except this time I actually shyed away from playing the care taker. *Whew* Thank God for that I did not wanna feel like I was babysitting. But she seemed very mature and independant and came out to be loquacious, so I really got a kick out of her company; And it was enheartening to know that she unexpectedly had an awesome night with me. That really made me feel warm inside.