I'm so riddened with emotion right now

I'm beginning the countdown when we break the news to my little sister that she's not going back to UT Austin for the Fall and that instead, she'll go to her home university. It's been pretty overwhelming for me for the most part today stressed out about what her reaction might be. Knowing her she'll definitely throw supersized temper tantrum at our mom and possibly me when I intervene. Yes I realize that I set the bad example here by not giving in and leaving UT even after things were going down the drain. But life isn't always fair, as put together by one of my colleagues a few weeks ago. She was like "life isn't fair deal with it". Somehow I'm gonna have to sink that into my sisters pea-brain. She doesn't realize that her future is at stake here. All I know is that that spoilt rotten attitude will never help her raise that 2.1 GPA of hers, meaning if mom and dad send her back they are only hurting her future. And somehow I'm gonna have to help her realize that. *sigh* hopefully the task of convincing her that staying at home for college is the right solution won't be as daunting as I perceive it to be.

Destroy the Magic and then move on to beat the Lakers Celts!!!

I just realized that quotations are another life carrier. Yes the size and composition of your network define you and move your journey, and yes they are also potential life careers, but the quotes that you here from wise men from all different parts of the world and different time periods are what really take you places. The psychology behind that is very intriguing and I would be more than flattered to learn more! I'll admit, in the past I used to underestimate quotes, never giving them much importance but then this initial attitude got erased after stumbling upon this packet full of stapled pages with lots of quotations on them. Apparently the assistant center director of my employer was who distributed it to us. It had all these interesting and meaningful quotes that I shudder to think what I'd do if I were to throw them away. So I've decided to pile it up in my cupboard and in the mean time WIKI WIKI WAA WAA.

So tomorrow job fair number deux is coming up and I'd say I'm moderately confident about it. A friend of mine was at least generous enough to stop by after a hectic schedule only to advise me on how to act during the interview. It was truly informative for me as I stumbled upon this revelation that it is my body language that invokes mischief in the kids. Yes prior to commencing my permanent substitute gig I'd hear pointers such as "Don't smile" but never "You have to walk and talk a certain way". Thank God I finally heard those from someone. Because yes classroom management is key in fetching a job. If you can't manage a freakin' classroom then your pretty much tossed outta the race already. I'd say that I can but thankfully my certification area is in math and job opportunities in that area are abundant! So even if I'm not perceived to be a pro in managing a classroom by the recruiters I'll still be in demand and my chances of getting hired will skyrocket from 10% to 75%, *gulp* at least I hope. But a gigantic area of weakness for me being tensed while not entering the interview room confidently. I'd say it would be in my best interest to practice walking and changing my demeanor in such a way where the kids will realize, okay he is not someone I can mess with. Because the principal, and other recruiters of the school will expect the candidate to view them as students and to speak and act in a manner that one would in a classroom. And so I'm gonna deliver!

I had one of the most bizarre dreams last night. Or maybe it was today morning as I kinda overslept and was late in picking up the housekeeper. Anyway I was hanging around some variation of my poolhouse and all of a sudden I notice these two people just floating in the water without movement. This stoner like blond guy and this beautiful Hispanic girl were about ten meters apart from eachother in the pool and was as if they both passed out of hypothermia. Anyway two or three days passed and while I was at the party there they were still except this time they sunk a little. So I go and reach for the girls hand while part of her head and arm were still visible in the pool and then they both gradually sink into the water, I try to hold the girls hand to attempt to pull her up but it just slips away as they boy and girl descend rapidly. So I start to stick my arm in there hoping I can still reach for it but I can't feel a thing! So I call a security guard and inform him and we try and search for them the only problem is that the waters are murky and not a sight of those two. He doesn't even bother to dive into the water to rescue them he just tells me that there's nothing and leaves. Hours later, numerous people including police were on the scene with bodybags after they have finally been found. And then I wake up really shaken up about that whole dream. I just really hope I don't have one of those in a long time.

The Thunders are triumphing so far over the Lakers at halftime and hopefully the Thunders maintain that fire throughout the game and the remainder of the Playoffs. Kevin Durant is proving to be a GOD at such a young age!! magnifico!!! And Russell Westbrook is like BANG. "Look out cuz here I come penetrating through the paint making that motherfuckin shot whether you like it or not".

You know there is another topic I'd like to touch bases on. And it is about Indian Americans or Asian Americans living away from their parents in the same city. It probably is commonsome these days but the concept is surely foreign to most of us. As immigrants, our parents stand firm in their conservative values, and expect us to do the same. But in reality it just isn't possible. We're all at equilibrium between Indian culture and American culture or at least we should be. But lot of times this become extremely difficult and so we move out at some point but is this really a good idea? For those living in big cities such as Detroit, LA, New York City, and even Houston yes it probably is. I mean the traffic and the size of the freakin cities will surely keep the parents on their rocking chairs till midnight. But for us small towners it's a challenge! Cuz even if we do move into our own crib there is the danger of our parents creepin up on us like every fuckin weekend just to see how we're doing. And when I say danger I mean it in the most subtle way. Worst case scenario is where you shack up in your own crib and your mom or dad drops in asking if they can slumber over?! And they cook biryani or some type of kung pau chicken and stink up the whole place. Yeah that would feel wicked awkward. So yeah hopefully I scurry away from town and don't fall into any such mouse traps! And I got some GOOD NEWS: Durant and his Thunder beat those Lakers. Hell to the fuckin YEAH!!!

I feel very fatigued right now, like Paul Bunyan fatigued. That's right I'm feeling the giants' fatigue right now. Today was totally awkward. I'll elaborate more and that later. I also feel saddened by the fact that I won't be able to make it to the UT prospective students campish tomorrow at South Padre Island. I would've fuckin j'adored the opportunity unfortunately I'll have to work at that exact same time. PHOOEY! I was thinking maybe I'd jet just for this fabulous occassion but who in the right mind would ever sacrifice pay just for a volunteer event. But baby this ain't just your ordinary volunteer event it's platinum folks seriously!!! I'm realizing more and more everyday how much I love mentoring others about college and its rigors. Perhaps it has a lot to do with my personal experiences and I'd like to use it to reach out to other students.

I feel practically mutilated right now. Hell who am I kidding I don't wanna study for that damn certification exam. Perhaps I have a minor case of the procrastinators syndrome I don't know. Whatever it is I don't wanna study period! I'd say I have over-the-edge math skills to the extent where I screw the long hours of cramming that come with the study package. But then again, I'm not as fluent as I thought in Statistics and apparently there is more to Probability. Let's see I plan on taking this exam the following Monday, which gives me ample time to prepare. And I'm starting to feel so drowsy as well but no slacking will have to be my temporary motto. There has been so much on my mind lately. One of them including how to make extra money. My think-tank was saying I should sell all the books I don't need to Half-Price Books. Don't know how much money I'll receive but hopefully enough for my welfare. Yes enterprises really do turn on me such as generating a cash cow for instance. I'm not so turned on by the idea of inventing a product and then selling it at a bargaining price, but the process is quite intriguing. Social entrepreneurship kicks way more ass to me however and always will!!! Guess I'll just whip out my crappy headphones and listen to some electronic gold. mmmmmmmmm

Uncanny Encounters

My libido just had to be stationed in hibernating mode the other day, as I went to a concert with a 17-year old. It's not that I wanted to it's just that I loathe being aloof at such occassions. Can't believe I chose craigslist as my avenue to locate a concert date; felt rather odd as I was a stranger to this whole process. I've learnt overall that craigslist is diminishing in it's effectiveness. I mean, seriously let's be honest here, had I used craigslist like eight years ago in fetching a buddy to share a night out with I would've maximized my results! Meaning, I could've earnt myself a blind date or even better a hottie! But now turns out that that is just virtually impossible. I mean I did get responses from women to go see John Mayer live they just delayed getting back to me. And so the only option I had remaining was taking this 17 year old girl with me. As usual, I play the role of the mentor except this time I actually shyed away from playing the care taker. *Whew* Thank God for that I did not wanna feel like I was babysitting. But she seemed very mature and independant and came out to be loquacious, so I really got a kick out of her company; And it was enheartening to know that she unexpectedly had an awesome night with me. That really made me feel warm inside.

A bungalow gigolo(Would this even make sense?Does such a person even exist?)

I'm saturated with body fat right now. Thought I could get a move on with shredding those pounds but it's cold out there and the only form of exercise I can perform is jogging. I really hate jogging around the neighborhood especially when it's dark outside but it's not like I have time during the day when it's bright. I mean there's swimming but the water is getting intensely freezing, and besides it ain't gonna pan out in weather, and hopefully the forecast for sunshine isn't bleak! So I thought about subscribing for a membership package with Gold's Gym. A lot of beefed up people pay frequent visits so I thought why don't I establish my self as one of those body-building health freaks. Flaunting my six packs around the broods is exactly what I'd dream of doing on any given day. How expensive is Gold's Gym?? Let's see.........alright so here's the deal I won't know until I speak with one of the membership counselors. Crimony!! They should have that info on their website. But on a positive note they do offer 1 day free VIP passes which I have downloaded and will be making full use of in the coming days. In the mean time I guess I'll just continue lifting those petite 15 pounders lol while jogging around the gorgeous lake around the neighboring area.

Alright so here's my SHORT-TERM GOAL LIST:
1. Prepare for the math 8-12 exam
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Find out about where to take statistics class for the summer & enroll in it
4. Search for summer teaching opportunities to take part in
5. Continue looking for a job in the staffing industry
6. Prepare all of the necessary documents for my teacher portfolio incase the staffing industry

#2 may be a long shot for the short-term but I might as well practice. After all, any job that I undertake will require me to insulate my nerves, otherwise I'll be kicked to the curb! It's as simple as that. You'll always be receiving criticism from your coworkers or boss on how you're doing your job so rather than sobbing too soon just take it with a grain of salt and say you know what I'm doing my best because that's what I'm always doing. You shouldn't let other people bog you down because you should be immune to how they perceive you. If they wanna perceive you negatively let them, as long as you know that you're a good person deep inside that's all that counts! Personally, however, It will take me awhile to accomplish #2. Job crisis can ax you emotionally so I guess when that occurs we have to go on such a crusade.

And #6 is a maybe while #5 is a hopefully. I really would prefer becoming a staffing recruiter over a high school math teacher but at the same time positions as teachers are more abundant than recruiters. Recruiters are in high demand to especially at this time when the workforce has been slashed and they've been receiving a heavy influx of clients, but the thing is I persistently sent out my resume and cover letter to various staffing agencies around Austin for two months and not even one word leaked about an interview! So I figured I might as well consider taking the test and becoming certified in multiple areas. I'm already certified to teach middle school, but would like to teach high school. And besides there is always demand for math and science teachers. Anyway I still hope I get called in to interview with a staffing firm I just need to try multiple cities this time.

Stress kills!

Ugh....there's too much stress in me right now. Don't know why I put off studying for the math 8-12 exam till now when I had the past two weeks to allot time to studying. Maybe it's because I've been teaching math for the past year and so the majority of the concepts are still fresh in my head. But then there's all these advanced trigonometric lessons, vector calculus, proofs, and lots of crack in the head lessons that I'm not fluent in. AAAAAAAAAA which means I'll have to bust my ass off like anything for the next few days so I wanna make it to the test time on Friday. That gives me four more days and 30 more hours of cramming. I'd say it can be done!! Just had some hot cocoa and sweet tea so should be able to pull through even though I have work in about an hour and a half. Oh well, back to studying.

The Spy Next Door vs. Avatar 3D

So it was one of those usual days today. Had a staff meeting and was kept overtime by one of the coworkers who kept bitchin' about how the kids don't know how to use a calculator. Pfff I say all they need to punch in is just eenie meenie minie mo. Besides, I had a showtime to catch and I'm that kinda guy who cannot miss a second of the movie! And that coworker of mine kinda reminds me of some Star Wars character, I'd like to say the female version of Yoda but I don't know my Star Wars very well so I wouldn't know. I get that vibe because of her unique catchphrase whenever someone says hi to her, it goes a little like this "Greetings Greetings".

So after getting released from the meeting I race against time to pick up my little. The movie began at 8 and we were like 42 minutes late! So unfortunately we had to put our watching Avatar 3D plans on hold. Lucky for us another movie was just on the horizon and that movie was none other than TADADADAA The Spy Next Door *unleashes a phony applause*, what a half-assed movie! It was wonderful to see Jackie Chan in a comic kiddie flick, but the direction: totally floppppppppppy, sorry that deserved extra p's. Even the stunts were kinda half-assed. I had surmountable expectations of Mr.Chan even for such movies. Guess that's what happens as testosterone levels deplete in aging Asian men. But wasn't Jackie supposed to be the alpha stunt men in the West and East? Having watched this movie I'm now starting to have second thoughts on whether I should watch his next cooler kiddie flick and this one will introduce Will Smith's son. Awesome dawg I think! As long as Will Smith is written somewhere in the closing credits. I'm more than certain he'll be credited as one of the motivators of the movie 'specially for his boy little Jaden. I'd be all laughter if Jaden ever mastered martial arts in real life unlike his pops. Speaking of which, why hasn't Will Smith ever been the star of a martial arts film. I believe he'd do splendid given his past performances in semi-epic films such as Men in Black, Bad Boys(which is one-eighth epic in my book), iRobot, and Iam legend. They could even go as far as making a dark comedy based on some character of Will Smith's becoming a pro-fighter. I finally have the topic for next entry HOORAY! Oh and let's not forget Ali as another one of his semi-epic films

Tequierra Los 4 Vientos

I just went to this mexican restaurant called Tequierra Los 4 Vientos. Great food! I'm glad it was recommended to me. It also reminded me of the heartland of Mexico. Not that I've ever visited that neck of woods, but I'm pretty sure that mainstream Mexico also housed such restaurants, where they had patios and waitresses would come outside while you were in the parking lot and ask "Can I take your order?" I wonder how you'd say that in Spanish. It's just that it's been a long time doing take out from a pure mexican restaurants. Most of these Mexican restaurants down in the Valley has a splash of Tex Mex in it so you don't get that typical Mexican atmosphere.

When is the blogspot gonna = xanga??

I'm serious about this. I just become so demotivated when it comes to blogging on this site. I need to customize this thingamajig with better wallpapers and it make it all rainbowey and colorful! How bout spraying some graffiti in the background you know for the sake of expressing our selves in a more advance way. At least xanga allowed us to customize our sites with more options present, first of all they had loads of wallpapers to select from. Secondly, you could post what song you were currently listening to and much much more. Maybe the blogspot offers all this as well I guess I'm just too lazy to explore. Oh yeah and in case I forget to mention xanga also allowed us to privatize some of our posts. Neat eh? So this way venting out on personal issues cannot be viewed by the public eye. Hell we wouldn't want amateur papparazzi's to be stalking us now would we? But this blog site should seriously consider revising some of the features such as allowing us to post more wallpapers; cuz that would so make me update this blog more frequently. Perhaps uploading the picture would allow me to grease the wheels a little more in the updating department.
I do miss xanga but it's just the scarcity of people on it that has discourged me from posting further entries. Turns out this is the town to be in nowadays along side facebook. There is also wordpress.com but that's like a blog for celebrities not for average joes like you and I.

IT'S ALL IN THE BOXERS

So as I walked out of my house this afternoon I notice this hot, twenty-something gal in her classy mercedes-lookalike. My first reaction: WOWSERS!! Finally got me a hot-ass neighbor. I just glared into one of her windows observing her while she applying all that lipstick looking in the mirror. I was about to make a move but before I moved a muscle I thought, what if I came outside with my midnight-blue boxers, would that turn her on? Those favorite boxers of mine do have the magic touch not those blue polo-T-shirt/worn-out jeans I was wearing. Would those boxers have a spontaneous effect on me? Would it me make "painfully-shy" free? Would I be able to freely walk up to her and extend my hand out for a simple greeting? And let's not forget this sure beats watching her undress through my window using binoculars! So to prove my point I run out in the cold in those midnight-blue boxers just as she's about to pull over and I smile at her saying "HOWDY DO?", she answers "lol why are you in your undies?", I go "because they're so comfy", I then run inside. Mission accomplished! I wasn't shy! Thanks to my good ol'boxers. Let's hope I've weaseled my way into her dreams now heheh.

WOWSERS, for the first time I had a real entry FUCK YEAH!!! And it's all thanks to complaining about the lack of quality of this blog. It allowed me to create an actual witty post during the second half of this post!

Family of depressants?!

Let's have a recap of current events: Cowboys lost, Longhorns lost to the Crimson Tide, Colt McCoy's shoulder has not been buried with a tombstone next to it(Thank God!), LeBron bitch-slapped Kevin Durant last night, Fareed Zakaria claims that Obama has failed the Amerian people in many areas(I say he's the KOOLEST PRESIDENT EVER, AND I MEAN KOOL WITH A K!!), and I just found out that my father has clinical depression! Alright so maybe it isn't considered a major headline but it bothers me loads sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if that gene passed on to me cuz I dunno I do feel like I exhibit some symptoms of depression such as excessive-eating and poor, unrealistic decision-making. Maybe I'm over-exaggerating, I know I've had social anxiety issues pretty much all my life thankfully not at the clinical level, but enough to disable many areas of my life! And I have had depression at some point in my life so I was well aware that it ran in the family. I'am well-educated about how social anxiety can evolve into depression after some time. According to the WHO(World Heath Organization), depression has topped the list of deadly illnesses so it is crucial for victims to seek immediate help whether it is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, medication, or a combination of the two. Gotta teach math now. Adios amigos.

The new teacher is about to ball it up!

Finally! Bout damn time! Gonna start teaching tomorrow. My first math class ever. Booyah! I'm really looking forward to the experience and also looking forward to meeting some of the wonderful staff that's on board. Although I'd rather be doing this in Austin it's all good I guess. I'm still hoping I move back there by June. I miss it so much that everytime I think about I become depressed. Anyhoo the John Mayer concert is on March 8th and sadly Spring Break doesn't fall around that time. Meaning I'll have to take two days off just to catch it. Phooey! I'm kinda nervous about tomorrow cuz I have no idea as to the type of kids I'll have. Guess it's just a natural process to just be plain nervous on the first day of anything new. Don't know how long I'll be teaching math but I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Truth is math teacher doesn't fit my personality so I may branch out of it later on and I dunno maybe pursue consulting or the business side of education. Well better hit the hay. Gotta get up at 6am tomorrow.

I love Subway

I fuckin love Subway!!!! I've been going there like every fuckin day and I'm totally in love with it. Five dollar footlong.....five dollar footlong. You know they should also us to type musical notes on this blogs you know so you can indicate when you're singing. They could even invent musical note keys on the keypads of laptops and desktops.

So turns out I'm gonna start substituting for a math teacher starting next Monday. I'm really excited about the opportunity as it will give me more exposure to a classroom, and it'll give me a better idea on as to whether I'd wanna become a teacher for the long-term or not.

I'm a meatballer. Holla!

Subway won the spot as my prime addiction once again these past few days. Let's see I swung by like four times and each time I visited I had the meatball marinara! It's a classic fo sho. When Ms. Marinara meets Mr. Chipotle Southwest you have a deadly combination. Whoaaaaaa! Yeah I've always been a huge fan of meatballs it all goes back to my college days when I'd cook spaghetti with meatballs like everyday for supper. And you know I was thinking why doesn't my neighbor introduce her unique meatball sauce to Subway headquarters. I'm sure they'd be more than thrilled to replace their existing meatball sauce with it. It had some sort of cranberry sauce added to it I believe giving it a wholesome taste; The best meatball sauce I've tried to date! Duhhhhhh When do you use a semicolon again?

My curiousity has finally peaked about the anatomy of an outgoing person. How is such a person able to make friends with ease while sucking up to the risk factors associated with it. Powerful shit! Need to remain in the exploratory phase here. It's just that I have this desire to be outgoing but all that extreme shyness of mine is debilitates me!

Happy 2010 folks!!

You know I just remembered an interesting flashback. It was a few years ago on Halloween I was traveling on the E-bus back to my crib after running around sixth street checking out the costumes, and a these group of people assign names to everyone on the bus and the ironic part of it all was that I was named Michael only because I was all by myself. And during this time I was actually in conflict with my roommate and best friend at the time whose name was also Michael. Weird!

As for my New Years Resolution I've decided that I'll start working out more you know get beefed up till I become a magnet for the ladies. The best resolution ever for the silent ladies man I'd say. I wanna be the guy who brings sexyback for 2010. It's been about four fuckin years and I desire to break Justin Timberlake's record. It would be an honor for me the day I make my grand entrance into a party and each and every single lady becomes magnetized to my body. Yeah that'll be the day. My other New Years Res. include getting a job, and oh yeah I skipped my number one goal: becoming more outgoing, and my number zero goal haha: extra bowls of strawberry pudding each day :D

Bought a pair of Santa Boxers yesterday from Walmart. Cost me like $3.25 and I've already grown attached to them. Best purchasing decision ever in like months. I guess you could consider it a late Christmas present.