Can rats really learn math???

Before I answer the above question I'd like to mention that McDonalds are in the process of opening 2000+ locations around the world, and looks like the rate of people with heart disease will be increasing as well in other news. Seriously WHY McD WHY? haven't you had enough with screwing with peoples healths. All it takes is just the knot of a fish hook to a double cheeseburger on a front porch; one sniff and out runs Fat Joe leaping on the cheeseburger devoring every scrap of it. My only hope is for them to start some organic lines on their menus or perhaps they could begin a fierce competition with Wendy's adding fruits like Mandarin Oranges to their menu. Can you say L-O-L-O-S cuz that ladies and gentlemen is the new word out on the streets;Should wipe out every fast food conglomerate where good health is concerned. I truly committed in seeing it's success and really hope it becomes gigantic enough for franchising at different locations to commence. One more time: L-O-L-O-S. LOLOS. Hopefully it's popularity down here will equalize with the Runza craze up in Nebraska.
I've also heard that McDonalds will be working overtime to enhance technology at each location just so employees can serve customers a lot quicker. Hmmm wonder what they're planning here. Oh oh I know will crew members be mandated to where hip uniforms while rollerblading around the restaurant with a tray on one hand?; or will customers be given state of the art remote controls that beep when the orders up? That's almost like Whataburger, what..what...whatup?? We'll have to wait and see.

So I just realized the other day teaching kids at the Sylvan Learning Center is similar to teaching rats! It's like when you pull out an assignment from the binder for them to work on they just start doing it, no fuss, no nothing. Same with rats when you give them a piece of cheese they just start munching away. Okay so maybe it isn't the same thing cuz when you give the rat something to do chances are it'll go haywire on ya on the task will incomplete. But what if scientists were to actually devise methods where they taught rats how to learn new subjects like math for instance. It goes a little like this: Scientists inject something, the rats cognitive ability is improved and it is able to learn math. "The formula for the pythagerous theroum is....", says Ratteus.

Mr. Fanza: Alright Ratty here's a fraction for ya how would you multiply 2/3 * 5 1/4?
Ratty: Uhhhh let's see that's easy it is 42/12 which is 2.5
Mr.Fanza: Good work Ratty here's some cheese as a reward
Ratty: uhhh thanks but I'm actually lactose intolerant now
Mr.Fanza: Oh really?
Ratty: Yeah it was a side effect of those damn meds the scientists administered for becoming a math whiz

Hmmmm looks like my comedic abilities can improve a notch HO HO

Restaurant Superpowers

Subway is already up in the ranks. Who can resist their five dollar footlongs. What an innovative marketing technique that five dollar footlong song turned out to be. It only attracts more customers everyday. The quality and diversity of Quiznos subs may be slightly better but I'm sure Subway has raked in more revenue due to its creative advertising. Ohhhh I see where this is going: Looks like I'm about to give a brief lecture on how to market items from your chains menu. For one, I think folks would be awe-struck if they were to see LeBron James in a Quiznos ad. Kinda like that ad he did for Vitamin Water where he played the lawyer. But the downside of that is that it would cost Quiznos millions just to shoot such an ad so scratch that. But from a psycological standpoint it would draw so many LeBron fans to Quiznos. Here is a curiousity type question: Will LeBron fans every outnumber Subway fans? Perhaps it's a stupid question to ask as the two aren't even comparable. I would have to side with LeBron on this one however. Yes I'm pretty sure premiering a LeBron Quiznos ad will surely keep Quiznos floating over Subway for at least two quarters till Subway plays the Five Dollar Footlong song again on TV which will have Quiznos customers dancing to the tunes all the way to Subway for one delicious footlong! Quiznos could even conceive an ad where they show an old man demanding Subway thinking that it'll help him acheive a boner while watching porno. Although I'm confident the networks would ban this one from airing.

Alright so going back to what I was gonna talk about. I was gonna say that Subway, Quiznos, and a new restaurant Lolos will be considered the three new restaurant superpowers out on the streets. Lolos is up and coming but who knows it may kick Subway and Quiznos on it's hineys due to it's maintaining good health concept. But peeps will have to start franchising it first in a vast array of locations before Lolos can ever even be on par with the other two restaurant giants. Subway or Quiznos are also healthy but Lolos is like "omg healthy", this includes the mayo, ketchup, mustard, and misc. sauces kept on the sides.

I will have to confess though one of the reasons why I prefer Subway over Quiznos is because of the catchy tunes of their five dollar footlong commercials. I mean what else can it be? Inspite of the upgraded quality Quiznos presents in their sandwiches I still buttsniff Subway? Amazing phenomenom. I'll have to place myself under intense scrutiny here.

Two Cougars and a twenty something guy

So I'm over at this Coffee place right now and these two youthful middle aged women are wiping all of the chairs. I'd refer to them as cougars but they don't quite meet the criteria. But to be generous person I'm I'll just go ahead and say that they're semi-hot. And the best part is that I'm the only customer present at the time. Yup, here I'm surfing the internet waiting for these two to get it on! *breaths heavily* YESSS Get it on ladies come on start taking those tops off, start smooching, starting licking eachother, come on, I want it all. I want some girl to girl action give me sum of dat shit. HOOK ME UP!!! Come on, touch eachothers boobs and lick it all around. Uh-huh....uh-huh....ohright!

Time travelling of the mind

Went to a wedding reception today. Not too shabby and the bride wasn't anywhere near hotness. Hardly any bombshells which is sad cuz they say that weddings are the ideal place for fetching honeys and sexing them up! Reminds me of Wedding Crashers and I fuckin hate the movie so so much. Don't know why? The sparks all occur during the exchange of wedding vows which is when libidos really peak in a man. This is when you should be looking eye to eye with another brood and don't forget to smile and say cheese! It's a big day for ya all of a sudden.

You know I just realized something. I get so mind boggled into the present and what' s going on that I forget that you'd have to unravel with the future. For instance, ten years ago would we have ever imagined that social networking sites like facebook and twitter would even exist? Forget that would we have ever thought about how popular social networking would've become in the first place? Of course not and would business executives, entrepreneurs, and other like-minded individuals ever realize that they use such sites to promote their businesses or provide more information about it? A big NO NO. The point is you can never predict what impact the future will have on you and the opporunities you aspire to seek. Today you may be salivating all over the Lamborghinis but fast forward to ten years and don't you think you'll be salivating over...I dunno...Transformer Lamborghinis, or a more fancy, environmental friendly car with electric power, call him Greenie. What if in twenty years, air travel becomes more affordable and convenient? What if we're able to travel from Dallas to Tokyo in supersonic speed? What if passengers are able to cheat the airline industry by being able to download torrent plane tickets? Hey it could happen. So perhaps I should throw pharmacy school back in the radar. I could actually travel the world delivering medicines to areas in need of particular medicines and the best part is that air travel will advance, that is once I reach the peak of my career say I ever decide to become a pharmacist. Cha-ching!!! I should start looking into it.

I wanna be an entrepreneur!!!

You know this recurring thought has really been turning me on these days: The desire of wanting to be an elite entrepreneur. The world of business just fascinates me. I guess it's just my unique vision of what a guy in a Superman costume would do: He'd serve the world of course! The field of entreprenuership dazzles me in ways I can't even express! And so I seek a mentor out there who can better instruct me on the tricks of the trade in business. I could even follow a mentor on twitter if the opportunity presents itself.

The nutritional value of networking

You know a lot of people underestimate the power of networking. But believe it's huge. This new book I'm reading: Never Eat Alone. It truly exemplifies what it's like to go out there in your community or in the world and make friends like never before. People are who save our lives and guide us towards novel opportunities. It could lead you to a new job, new car, or even a new girlfriend! Point is that it is very crucial to build a lifetime community of mentors, colleagues, and friends. More on this later when I can think better.

Trying to find a song

You know I'm constantly on the go in cyberspace when it comes to finding an unknown song. I google the lyrics nothing pops up. I search endlessly until I collapse and can't twitch a muscle.

I crawl the falls across the desert ta da ta da da,
we walk for miles and miles to find where we've been.... all along.....

And the rest I do not know. I'm dying to locate this song but so far no luck. I just hate it when that happens. You loop this song in your head but have no idea about the song title or artist. You spend minutes sometimes even hours searching and nothing comes up. Such a frustrating feeling.

You know I feel bad for the bashing Taylor Swift received from Kanye at the MTV music awards last night. Wondering why Taylor didn't retaliate by talking shit about Kanye at the Subway stations through lyrics. Look out folks for a song on Swift's upcoming album titled "Kanyay is gay". Would I wanna listen to it? Text y for yes and FUCK NO!!! for no. Seriously I FUCKIN HATE COUNTRY SO YEAH THAT'S RIGHT UP YOURS MS. SWIFT. And Beyonce is no better 'cept when she's performing with Destiny's Child.

Can deep thinking cause brain damage?

As usual, I'm in Level 10, deep thinking mode. By now my mind should be exploding but surprisingly enough it hasn't. Still clueless as to how I was able to get my ass outta the house. Surely, the thinking has contributed to my sinuses. You know it is so discouraging chatting with my parents about my future endeavors. They say they're not judgemental but naturally as parents they become so. No wonder I don't feel comfortable speaking to them more often. Perhaps I should stick with the people that give me positive feedback rather than people who criticize and say that you should be doing things a certain way. Following tradition is definitely not one of my greatest strengths. Okay so it isn't even strength. I just have no idea how other Indian post grads American communicate their career ideas to their parents. Maybe all ABCDs get spit at when talk about getting into areas that the parents don't approve. I just ask: Did God have to make me this sensitive??? Maybe I should just stick to my own guns and quietly manuever around people that are in areas I'm passionate about and not share with my parents anything. Besides, there are other people I can talk to like Vinayakuncle and Girish. Two of the prominent figures among the Indian community in my eyes.

Bogus formalities

You know I love my familia! But I just cannot fuckin comprehend the expectations they have of me. This is like an Indian culture 101 crash course for those of you who don't have a Fuckin clue of what I'm talking about. Seeing that I'm a lil' agititated after yesterdays mild to heated confrontation I figured I'd vent out a little while blending in a spice of comedy to it. So it all started when my mom had to drop off my little sister at Longhorns paradise, or as I like to call it, UT, my alma mater. I'll admit I was kinda jealous of her going there plus I was really suffering with widthdrawals from her budding selfish attitude, and so I felt no obligation in me to go and help them out. Turns out now that it was the gravest error of all and it occurs towards the end of the summer because as soon as my mom gets home she's all "AWAWAWAWAWAWAWA you have responsibilities beta AWAWAWAWAWAWAWA" and I was like "Yeah I know but then I've been very preoccupied about getting a job search". Momma: "How bout I lock you in a cage and coerce you into landing a job down here around your very own home", Pops, with eyes posing with a devilish glow: Yeah terriffic idea, I've always wanted a clone around this house" Me: NOOOOOOOOO!!! I don't wanna learn how to make idlis, samasos, and chutney, and I don't wanna wear no deodorant and stink NOOOOO. It's interesting because when I first go home I was a fairly responsible party around the house and then as time passed I guess I just became very self-centered cuz I just felt that I'd be cramped up at home for a long ass time. My friend suggested traveling as I sit idle and that sounds like a splendid idea. I could go to China, even India and maybe lend a hand to some charities over there. Nothing would make me feel more wholesome! Only drawback is the moola as I'll have to bag up about six or seven g's, possibly even more for the entire event. Now rewinding back to the argument, there is another reason for why I may have drifted from my whole family, but for personal reasons I simply won't say! I'll give you a hint: Strawberries. *breaths a sigh of relief* I luv being mysterious *smiley face*

I guess the only antidote to the whole situation would be to express reverence towards my dear parents and to just go along with these so called expectations. It's not that I don't understand it's just that......... alright once again we are heading back to the topic of strawberries here. Let's just say that if I had more strawberries with me to EAT then I'd be able to better understand these expectations. That and I'm just hoping that my parents realize....alright you know something I was wayyyy out of line yesterday. I shudda helped my sister move and shudda been there for her these past few days when she needed me the most, after all there is some emotional guilt associated with that. And I shoudn't have burdened my mom so much by making here go to Austin and come back in one day by herself. I was just so deeply involved with my own life that I wasn't thinking about anyone elses. Lesson learnt. And oh when the hell am I gonna move out??? The answer is yet to be revealed *wiggly exclamation point"

Hmmmm interesting how would you make an exclamation point wiggle, you'd probably have to use some type of animation software or something for that.

intraverting extraversion and extraverting intraversion

I strongly believe that I'm extraverted to the 90th degree but others may probably disagree. What I do know is that I have a profound interest in being outgoing but somehow it just can't fit in my personality. I'm loaded with hardcore peoples skills and there is a difference between the outgoing and those with superior peoples skills you know. For instance, at the training this past week I was genuinely interested in getting to know others but somehow that never happpend cuz I was always preoccupied about my own shit. I mean I succeeded in at least talking to a few people but I wasn't one of those who'd mingle with my neighbor or get my ass of of my chair to talk to others closest to me. For me, outgoing has become so important that I've been researching articles on how to become more outgoing. All I know is that I'll have to start making significant progress within one year. One advantage of being outgoing is that you're able to snag more dates while also having more fun. But the biggest benefit for me would be learning to be more entrepreneurial; you know extracting info from people cuz lets face it it is the most efficient way of learning new things. Books and the internet can only take you so far. People may perceive me as an intravert but you something I just do not give a fuck cuz I know in my heart that I'm extraverted and every personality test that I've taken has says so and I was being truthful as possible when answering the questions by the way.

Alright so I got a couple of lame brownie jokes here:
How do Indians write and pronounce the coffee place coffezone, give up, as Kaphizone hahahahahahaha.
Where do most of the Indians reside in the US? Give up, Brownsville, Texas hahahahahaha
How do

Why does soda have to be such a drug?

So today was just one of those lazy days for me where I couldn't do anything. It's that diet Cherry Coke's fault it just warped me into a sedentary state. Prior to that I order pizza and devoured four slices. All this beautiful time and it went to a waste. I love my buddy Adrian but for some reason I just could not go with him to his family get together at some barbecue pit. It was his dad that I feared of course as I was warned about what a jerk he really is. I only wish I could stick around till next weekend to watch Adrian take off to Korea. So I just stayed here and thought maybe I could play catch-up and instead my agenda just splattered all over my face. Anyways enough treating myself like a punching bag. My next great big concern is how the hell do I follow up with all this preparation of getting a job as a teacher? It's just so overwhelming and mind-blowing. And we have to send reference assessments to our references and have them mail it to human resources. How time consuming that must be

Are Fridays designated for work, play, or work&play dubbed together?

I despise it so much when you feel like your pressed for time working on somthing but can't focus cuz you have to go to a play in a couple of hours followed by Kareoke. Friday is nicknamed Funday and as we all know tis the day to shake that bootay!!! And besides last Friday was nothing but a ruckus for me all anxious about my test scores. And the next horror episode - episode#2065 in the life of Mamarama - organizing that big fat portfolio with your resume, cover letter, and other credentials. That's exactly what I should be working on right now but my concentration has shut down. What do you do when that happens? Do you give yourself a pat on the back and say "you've tried but guess what today is? You gotta go out there and get krunked!!!" And that's exactly what's gonna happen. And if today happened to be Wednesday, I'd punch myself on the face really hard, knocking myself out!

You know I've decided to title my posts after I finish writing them. It's just so hard to visualize the name for a title. After reading what your post is about then it becomes so much easier to be creative in what title you'll give it.

Teacherzzzz & Puddings

I'm in Austin posting this from one of my favorite coffee places! It feels so great to finally be back here that I actually had trouble accepting the fact that I touchdown here yesterday after two long months. I know two months is nothing but it took years off my life living in a place like the Rio Grande Valley while being separated from this exuberant city. And now that I'm finally here I'm already starting to grow despondent over leaving late next week. I probably wudda felt this way about atx no matter where I lived......well.....okay maybe not had I lived in Atlanta, San Francisco, the Big Apple, or LA. Okay wait I probably wudda been heartsick missing Austin while living in an expensive, overwhelming place like New York City. And I know that would only make me miss Austin even more. Wouldn't that be wonderful, I should just look for a job in NYC then. Anything to make me crave for atx even more.

Anywayzzz I officially completed my first day of training and had I been completely awake without an ounce of sleep deprivation I'm sure I wudda enjoyed it a lot more than I did. I guess nows the time to hocus focus(I love saying that!). Although I'm beginning to have second thoughts about teaching after today's experience. I'm sure I'll have a fabulous experience working in a middle school but the pay is all scraps. Perhaps I could work my ass off landing a job as a teacher and then after six months I could start looking for work in the industry, my primary preference, in order to attempt paying for grad school whenever I enroll. More on this subject and personal dilemma later.

Alright so let's descend down to the good stuff: Pudding....mmmm mmm sweet! Although I adore chocolate puddings I'll have to say that I'm more of a vanilla pudding person. And I happen to be more in favor of vanilla because....it's just tastier and good for the tongue. As for chocolate puddings I dig it but YUUUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!! And then there is banana bamboo pudding which is HOT!! There's also curry pudding which is the worst of the all. Think about it curry is all spices and spices and pudding do not blend - WARNING!!! Then you have chile pudding which is also terrible as chile is considered a semi-spice. But man oh man it is delicuoso no doubt about that!!! I fuckin love it. Now for those of you who are clueless about as to what I was talking about the answer is at the end of this post.

So something interesting happened yesterday. I made a stopover at the Rivercenter Mall and out of the blue I catch sight of this dark orange Texas cap with a dotted like pattern. My first impression was WHOA!!! So I do the impulsive and I buy the cap. The problem was that a few minutes later after trying it on I realize it doesn't fit! That's right apparently I star as the dumbass in this one as your supposed to try the cap on before buying it. So luckily I go back to the souvenir shop from where I purchased the cap and replace it with any other one. Turns out the bigger sizes of the original cap I purchased were gone so....I settled for another cap of my choice. After having to go through this I've realized something: Why the fuck don't the list the circumference of the cap on a tag or something so this way folks who don't have the brains of trying it on first will know as to whether it'll fit them or not. Cuz nobody tries on caps they just assume their head size is correct size for it. Shirts, jeans, and shorts are experimented with in dressing rooms and so can caps but I truly believe that that may not happen cuz when you see a cap you just go gaga all over it naturally and run like the wind to the check out counters. Anyway that's just my perception of how things should be cuz they just do not list the one-half areas or cirumferences of the cap on a tag.

Answer: YSSUP

The essence of sleep and the power of randomness

I'm so sleepy, so so very sleepy, I could've sworn that I got at least seven hours of sleep last night, I dunno maybe less. Perhaps my biological clock has been reset or something. That means my mind could be in Australia all places, where people at this time are fast asleep.

So yesterday was the day I officially completed my math 4-8 certification exams and now I restlessly await the results. Too bad I'll receive them no later than Monday. And now because of that I'm just waiting for Monday to roll around. Kinda ironic considering today's Friday which means I should be celebrating today. But somehow it's Monday that I look forward to! I just can't wait to view my results. I'm assuming I did well right now although the last few questions really caused me to think really hard. I did manage to skim through the entire test answering all of the unanswered questions and it seems as if I mastered at least 75% - 85% of the material, enough to provide me with a PASS. Guess I'll just have to chill out till after the weekend. Thing is my whole future depends on it. Future as a teacher that is. And if I do pass I have to start planning ahead as there is a chance I'll have to meet up with Austin for the training seminar, yay for me! I fuckin love Austin and it's great that I may actually have a shot at going there now.

And you know I realized something: Austin has a very sedating, laidback effect on people. It's a no wonder people die to relocate to the live music capital of Texas whether they've resided there or not. It doesn't matter whether you enter a restaurant, convenient store, or grocery store, the people will smile at you while stirring up some small talk. It just has such a soothing effect on you I just can't begin to describe it any further. For now, "I LUV AUSTIN!!!" is all I gots to say. I miss it a lot and I hope I can settle there very soon. *YAWN* I feel so drowsy. Maybe I'll just sleep it off for now.

And one more thing: My blog about the various types of puddings will be on the next post. I may not have much of a fanbase but for those of you who may have at least taken a sneak peek at my blog you will love this next blog so so much you may even be laughing your ass peeing in your pants. Okay okay maybe not peeing in your pants but you will find ultra/super-dooper hilarious!!! I guarantee it or your time back!

Swimming in boxers???? - Good or bad

So I was just thinking today. Why don't I swim in my boxers sometime. Sure it'll make my boxers all wet and icky but wouldn't it be sexy, just think hot bombshells walking all around. And speaking of hot bombshells I completely forgot to blog about my love for pudding: vanilla, banana, milk chocolate, Mexican, you name it. Sorry no dark chocolate pudding for me! This will be saved for next time.

Mourning the losses of a pop singer and a TV pitchman

It has been very difficult digesting the latest celebrity tragedies...specially Michael Jackson and Billy Mays. Both were incredible people and they will be deeply missed. What's even harder for me to digest was that they were both 50 when they passed away. According to one of the physicians interviewed on CNN 300,000 people die of cardiac arrest annually and half of those people are under the age of 65. Scary isn't it? As a matter of fact, it only heightened my curiosity about the percentage of population that is over the age of 65. With Americans there are so many issues present with heart disease topping the charts. Apparently only 13% of the American population is over the age of 65 so it makes you wonder what will happen to the bulk of the population which is between the ages of 21 and 49 several years from now. Healthcare insurance is ever so costly to begin with so perhaps most poor to lower middle class citizens can't afford it. Also factor in hardcore meat eaters who start to become plagued with various cancers along with heart disease as they age. Anyway I guess the morale of this is to enjoy life when you're still young and hip. I'm still pretty shaken up by those sudden demises however. You know it just makes you feel so fragile when you hear about such tragedies.

Don't you just hate it when you're in a blogging mood but then you're just too damn lazy to get on your computer and start blogging. And then all those creative thoughts start dissipating down the toilet never to be recovered again. Yup that happens to me quite a bit. For example I came up with such beautiful jargon the other day you know words you wouldn't be able to locate in a dictionary and somehow there it goes on the run! I hate it when that happens!!!

And you know something I'm really not optimistic nor motivated about entering the teaching arena but what else do I do the economy is tanking! And on top of that I'll have to prepare for the math 4-8 exam. Oh well better get a move on with it. And besides I'll be acquiring a lot of valuable skills that I can use for any career I choose to branch into.

Face maintenance sucks

I hate shaving period! It's just sad that I have to fit shaving into my schedule once every two days. And when I say shaving I don't just mean my face I also mean my head. Although shaving your head with a razor is a piece of cake! But what an inconvenience it is. I can't ever be mobile around the house with an unshaved face now can I? It's just funny how this just repeatedly keeps happening to me. I get up in the morning, I feel unkempt, I become too lazy to do anything about it, and so I wallow around for minutes thinking about whether I should get on with my schedule or not?, my mind becomes disoriented, and it loops back to becoming too damn lazy to shave my face!! Anyways I have no idea how long it'll be till my ass reads employed. I know I need to keep an open mind and be patient but I don't know sometimes I feel like I could've landed a job my now with a consulting company like Accenture with prior internship experience, which I failed to land by the way. And now the only thing I can do is just scramble for contacts hoping that something will come about with the company of my choice. Lets see, screw research!, and half-screw teaching because I plan to take the math 4-8 test yay for me! Being a teacher will definitely help me pick up some valuable skills that I can use elsewhere.

Isn't it funny how some people just keep changing their minds when it comes to what careers they wanna pursue? There are so many people out there that are confused by a plummeting job market. And I betcha you'll see lots of career changers out on the streets. As for me, it's interesting because I may have changed my mind like gizillions of times. After I officially became a high school graduate my first aspiration was to either be a software engineer or a gamer. And then when I realized that it wasn't right for me I decided that I wanted to get into biotechnology, and then I had the film industry in mind, followed by nutrition, pharmacy, journalism, advertising/public relations, pharmaceuticals, biotechnology, business side of biotechnology, uhhh I don't know, writing, acting, I don't know, and finally I've landed my cards on consulting for now and possibly human resources whew that was an exhaustive list.  And from the above list I found nutrition to be very interesting and here's why: I'll explain in my next entry and some of the key words of that entry will be babes and hotness!

Life is the exact opposite of a smoothie

So as I was flipping through the channels today and I found myself mumbling "Jerry Jerry Jerry" cuz it turned out that I was hungry for more Springer. The previous episode was simply fanfuckintastic when a guy cheats three women by having sex with all of them at once unknown to one another. Deception is such a turn on especially when some other playa is in that place! Oh and by the way pudding is so enticing, vanilla pudding in particular but I'll save this for my next entry.

So something kinda interesting just spooked up from behind me it all started when I abruptly decide to drive to Fast Eddies for the Finals Game 1 viewing. And lemme tell ya as much as I loathe Kobe the guy was marvelous. 40 points may not have been his best night but it was indeed an accomplishment against the resilient Orlando Magic! So lemme get to the interesting part. So this cute bartender walks to me while I was watching the game and just drops the "what are you passionate about?" question on me and then all of a sudden we strike up a brief conversation, and all the while I'm all "She'd probably go from cute to hot if she had a boob job, and if maybe she grew her hair longer". Turns out I guessed right she was a philosophy major; And very unusual for my taste, it's funny because I've never met anybody this interesting up at UT. So lemme fast forward here, so later on she asks me what my latest writing gig was and I go "Why do birds have beaks?" It was a very creative and dull answer all at the same time maybe I was just trying to score points with the chick or something. To come to think of it that was actually a Home run for me in my peoples skills department. Never thought I'd come up with such an answer maybe it was the girl who did the trick. It's just that I was so amazed by the way I answered that what is your writing gig question.

The sunshine is upon us

Good morning fellow cyberjockeys. It's Day 3/4 for me in the Mexican border, or as I like to call it little Mexico. Pretty creative eh? It's kinda like how Miami is denoted as little Havana. Maybe I should call the entire area of Deep South Texas little Monterrey or something minus the pollution and the scenery. You know I think cruising to Monterrey would be a swell idea I've never paid a visit to that neck of the woods and I've heard it's breath-taking. But then again there is extreme pollution there apparently hopefully it ain't as bad as India! Although I don't know I'm quite accustomed to the smell of Indian pollution perhaps because of my Indian ancestry. Once sniff and that's it the security channels within my system shout ACTIVATED! I've heard New Delhi is a great place to work, a pocket of white people hold high class jobs out there so yeah I'm sure you'll still get an adequate dose of beer drinkers in the evenings before supper, and special pubs or hungout places where they'll televise Yankee games and several NFL games, why not throw in college football besides like my white former roommate I'm sure lots of other white folks are addicted to it and would hate to do anything but sit on their asses all day with a cold beer in their hand tuning into some NCAA football on a Saturday. Of course what would I know about whities I'm not white. It's just that I was freaked out when I took this quiz about how white you are. And the result: TATADADAA, 100% white. I'm fuckin serious so unexpected. Unless I was programmed to check the correct responses only so the quiz would return as white as possible. Can't help it. As much as you want to accept your roots I feel that as long as you're born in America you would wanna be labeled as white as possible.

You know Mexico City is also on my 'wanting to vacation at' places. The largest city in the world DANG! I betcha the chicks are smokin hot, possibly even hotter than the babes you bump into in New York City or even sixth street in Austin. Oh I fuckin love Austin. As I mentioned in the previous post I'd love to settle in a city like New York and then hopefully I can earn frequent flier miles and use it towards jetting to Vegas once every three months and then to Austin like once every six? seven months? It's interesting how non-New Yorkers living in New York wanna move out after a certain number of years. It's all about lowering the bills baby. Yeah I know it's as expensive as fuck but here's how I view the situation. If you could save up enough money before heading out there and struggle by living there for four years you'll pretty much get your slice of New York. And then I dunno perhaps you'll feel like an accomplished man due to the electrifying nightlife and let's not forget the high dating volume. You could snag a date there in like ten days after moving I'd say at the rate singles associate. But going back to the chicks from Mexico City due to the unstable law throughout Mexico they may have so much freedom to the extent that everyday is a Mardi Gras either inside the clubs or on the streets of downtown. It's almost like a New Orleans facade except better!

Alright so I'm at a hot Wifi spot right now at this place called Coffee Zone and lemme tell ya the music and then public restrooms are five star! I've never seen such state of the art public restrooms in my entire life. Even five star restaurants that I've visited have lacked it. You know maybe I'll start to like public restrooms after all after all there is nothing better than a couple of paintings of Mona Lisa, Da Vinci, or whoever to make you breath a sigh of relief right before you take that nasty ol' shit. But I'm still as frustrated as hell right now I'd want nothing more than to just lay my ass in my room and surf the net while also looking up jobs and careers so I can practice decisiveness. Austin is my destination for now, maybe the Dallas suburbs or Houston.....

Well Austin is in the past for now

So it's already been two days since I've landed my ass in the RGV and so far my return experience hasn't been so bad. Although moving is a pain in the ass I can't argue that. I had a double header moving all of my shit in Austin and then moving my parents shit again down in deep South Texas. And the heat is SWELTERING down here no doubt about it. Having trouble catching my breath here and thank God for UT cap *kiss* *kiss* otherwise I'd be in deep shit at the moment. I won't explain why though. It's just too complicated know what I'm saying huh huh. But I've been really wanting to go to my high school to visit some of my old teachers though. I'm just not sure as to whether today was the last day of school or tomorrow. Cuz you know it's important to touch bases with old high school teachers. Perhaps they'll know someone that you be interested in contacting for a job or who knows maybe you can meet your next lady love this way. Or maybe they'll just be as happy as one teacher can be to see one of their former students. I know my former physics teacher will. *Ugggh* the anxiety. But how I can't wait to roam around the beautiful city of Austin. Such glorious art I can only draw and color on. Hey where are the coloring pencils? Well...Chou.

Just having something is never enough

Or at least I feel that way, I want so much I mean so so much and what is it that I want so much? Yes this is a rhetorical question because honestly I really don't know. So why whine is the next rhetorical question I pose. What's really making me so sentimental right now is the fact that I'll be leaving Austin in less than 24 hours. Hopefully not for good however. This city is so so magical that not even the traffic or the tanking economy can make you care less about it. I'm always gonna have a slice of Austin with me wherever I go. It's like a beautiful lady that swings her soft, beautiful hair back. And she sings! And to kick off my departure party we'll be celebrating on sixth street and boy will I start to become despondent. And yes I may make a scene getting all teary eyed going WAAA WAAA WAAA. And if I have happen to bump into hot chick I may start to call her Austin in my drunken state. Or maybe I'd wait till after we got laid to call her Austin. You know that's while she leaves my apartment half naked I'd be all "See ya later Austin" cuz that would be my last good memory in this city. I really hope I can settle here someday Austin has everything. And the best part is that it's cheap! Cali was my always my first love when it came to living but you know there is the high cost of living to take into account. Although I'd howl like a wolf as soon as I get a hold of the babes over there. Yessa! But man I just can't stand leaving Austin this colorful city must be explored again sometime in the future. I have been to so many places here while skipping out on so many. That's Austin for ya I guess, everything this city has to offer whether its a five-star restaurant, museum, park, or club has to be checked out once. So long Austin. You'll always be with me. It doesn't matter where I end up because if I don't have lodging when I visit Austin I'll be ripping myself off by slumberin at a hotel!

Experience is bling!

So a pulled over at a gas station needing to fill up the tank pronto! And in the meantime paranoia took over me and caused me to check all of the tires to make sure I wasn't coming down with flat. So I take it over to a local Walmart and sure enough my instinct was correct my back tire needed to be replaced. So during the wait I was hangin around the store looking at the tea makers all the while wondering to myself as to why tea makers fascinated me so much??? It's true I've evolved into a tea lover but a tea maker??? Haven't I wasted money on a coffee maker once already? And turns out it deserved a plaque for the shittiest investment because all of a sudden I detest coffee to the extent where I can't even lick it! So I move on and notice a McDonalds straight down. I wasn't really hungry at first but those workers outside were taking forever to get to my car so I thought what the hey, and besides those double cheeseburgers *drools like a dog* are so *mouth gets even more watery*g-good. And good they were I gulped down two of those in addition to a Spicy McChicken. I made a pact one day and that was to discontinue ingesting the greasiness of fast food and I know it's not morally correct to practice against what you preach, but somehow whenever I catch sight of a McDonalds I envision this guy in a giant double cheeseburger costume greeting all of the customers which only bring out my cannabalistic characteristics as I pounce at it like a cheetah devouring it alive. Long live the double cheeseburgers! And then later on I pay a visit to the electronics section checking out all of the Wii games, DS games, plamas, LCDs. I did make an interesting observation while roaming around and it was that there were no rap or hip hop CDs to be spotted. You'd expect a random Walmart in San Antonio to have everything in stock but nope. And then as I stared onto the blank plamsa screen a freezeframe of that imaginary dude in the double cheeseburger costume pops up and it starts to talk to me. Maybe I was a hallucinating I dunno. And he goes "EAT ME" in the slowest motion possible. I just couldn't fuckin take it anymore those bastards were taking longer than I thought the thing is whenever I showed for their service in the past they'd have it done in a gypsy. But for some reason an hour passed and it was still in line! And hunger was flooding through my system even more by the minute. So I play ball and made the right decision by just walking in random circles checking out the latest electronic gadgets and then alas I hear my name announced in the intercom. And as an added bonus they were actually willing to tie the fluid alternator or whatever it's called with cables it was hanging from the bottom of my car saying that one bump could cause it to fall on the road. Turns out those guys were badasses. It seems like San Antonio citizens are just as nice as Austin citizens I always underestimated the townfolks there I guess. Thanks to them my car was up and running again. This was just a random episode that I encountered while driving from Austin and because it was so unexpected I thought I'd bust out with it. But the main reason why I posted this was because I was proud of myself. I actually made the right decision. Rather than driving with a spoilt tired I took responsibility I got it inspected. Yay for me. And it was all thanks to that flat tire experience that I encountered one night in the middle of the highway after getting a few reminders from people that my tire was kinda flat. So there you have it experience is like gold plus one!!!

The economy is a bigger pain in the ass than you think

So I visit my local 7/11 store this morning to buy breakfast and as I walk up to the checkout counter I noticed a middle-aged habeeb for the first time. He seemed like one of those imported brainiac software engineers and perhaps he applied at the convenient store after the gruesome layoff. Just like how many prodiguous asian guys are trapped working at the video store or even worse, as a janitor! Such an insult to ethnicities of such stature. Cuz you see it's the indians and asians that contribute to the mass output in technology. Without them America probably wouldn't be able to master anything past a typewriter! Honestly, I wonder what the psycology is behind such people being forced to take pay cuts or accepting dead-end jobs. Looks like all of the interstate highways leading towards Dallas will be swamped with angry Americans demanding justice by beating the shit outta Bush and his flimsy ego for how he left the economy in shambles! I'd love my share of this brutality as well.
You know I'm still wondering why the best friend of the girl of my dreams graduated with me day before yesterday. When they applauded her receiving her diploma on stage I shudda turned in the direction of the clapping but somehow I was tangled up in the after shock of actually hearing her name yelled out. I did turn eventually only to see a bombshell who resembled that girl of my dreams though I'm doubtful as to whether the power of my contacts was high enough. She was sitting there next to two other older people dressed in white and she may have dyed her hair brunette? Uhhhh...I'm not too sure maybe she wasn't present and that was somebody else. Anyway once I showed up outside after the ceremony searching for my folks I was hoping I'd stumble into the best friend and that I did she passed right by me with her parents but there no sign of the girl I've had a huge crush on for months. I'm wondering now if I shudda followed her or something maybe she would've appeared to pass on her congratulatory message to her or something. It's so difficult when you fall for someone that you've met only once in your life and there is this distance between the two of you only because you both don't have any mutual friends........OKKKK, so was this really something worth publicizing. I'm sure a lot of you jackasses that read this will be laughing your quirky asses off! But you know something this had to come out because this was such an unexpected phenomenom, her best friend graduating and passing right by me outside when I least expected it! But did I miss seeing what I really wanted to see? That's what I'll always wonder and since there is such a long distance between us I really don't know if we'll bump into eachother again and if I'll get the lifetime opportunity of giving her the Red Rose for realz!

George "Mamarama" Castanza

I feel like George Castanza at times whenever I'm with my parents, the more good looking version that is. And for a temporary period of time I'll have to be shacking it up with my parents while joining the ranks of the unemployed on account of my broke ass. What sucks though is that I won't have friends like Seinfeld, Elaine, or Kramer orbiting around me. I'll have to pull off a big apple for that one! I'm really starting feel dejected right now leaving Austin and all this week. Moving kills but I'll have to get a move on with it soon either this evening or when I make a return trip to atx so I can pack all of the remaining items. I still have to ship the modem back to my internet provider so don't know when that'll take place. But my heart will always be in Austin no matter where I may reside. It's such a hearthrob city I mean think about, the cost of living is cheap, it's the Live music capital of Texas, sixth street is a bang, the ladies are so so fly, the parks and the scenery in general are breathtaking, and last but not least fine dining is number one in the city of Austin. I'm already dreading the move back to deep south Texas. I know I'll be bored to death at times but still me thinks its best that I tie myself to the chain dragging humungous stones through the floor sooner or later.

life-itis

All of the dilemmas that you face daily, such as whether I should throw the trash first, whether I should go digital on that idiot box, whether I should buy a giant crate full of Sara Lee Cheesecakes delivered by UPS, whether I should go luncheon with Tony Parker, or whether I'll finally have the opportunity of rockin the casbah. But hey, its nuttin but a phase that's all. And the next I dunno how many months will be fumed with "Oh my gosh I have to fix that dent in my resume", or "would a red tie or a blue tie match with a green shirt.....and why the hell would I wear a green shirt and if so why would red and blue be considered matching colors" Well this is where the real fun begins folks: Learning and gaining through hardships.
So it looks like I'll be walking like a retard towards the commencement ceremony with a cap and gown. I'll prolly have to take off like an hour early in order to get there one hour before commencement kicks off. Phooey. I wish I could just sleep in till like 11 and then use my super duper telekinetic powers in order to transport myself there. That's if I had any. Damn moviez! They spoil your brains! And so does that idiot box! All the more reason why I should not go digital on it! Besides I fuckin love my ipod touch I get all of the idiot box I want in it!
Alright so who's leading the way in basketball? Obviously we won't be seeing a repeat episode from the defending champs so shove them aside, and let's pave the way for a new team. Could Dwight Howard finally prove that he really is Superman despite his offensive inadequacies or will Lebron James steal the cape from him for his own personal glory? Could Kobe help the Lakers to a championship part deux while receiving his fourth ring? All I can say at this point is that it's going to be a tight race to the championship from both conferences. These games are always so close so the way I see it even the lower ranked teams during the playoffs could have a chance of making it to Finals. For now we all will have to keep a close eye. It seems like the Lakers will have the upper hand in ousting the Nuggets than vice versa. And as for the Magic/Cavs series, the similarites are that both teams are astounding defensively while also maintaining good chemistry. The flip side, however, is that the Magic are a far better 3-point shooting team while the Cavs protagoinist TADADADAA King James has more offensive power than the Magic protagonist Dwight. So far it's both a one point game for each and the outlook for the next five games looks to be in favor of either team and yes I say five because I truly believe that this will be a bloody seven game series. And even if the Cavs come out doing the Second Coming march at the end of Game 7 there'll be a challenging road full of speed bumps and possibly even nails ahead of them when they face NBA's top seed.
And looks like we all learnt a lesson today: And that is to be careful who you trust. I really hope Rip Hamilton gets to prosecute his worst half Josh Nochimson for the fraud that he has committed.

The shiny apple store

So I get outta my car with pure excitement on my face and as I make my entrance into Nordstrom I slid my hands into my pockets while whistling Put On A Happy Face. I greet the piano player, make my way up the escalators, enter the mall and there it is glimmering in 150 Voltage light, so powerful that it blinded my eyes for a second and then restored my vision to full capacity. It was like being seated in a 3D theatre being blown away by the resolution of the light and the magnitude of the ultrasound. Yes folks that's how beautiful the apple store looked from far away. So then I ran ran like the wind go inside and approach one of the merchants impulsively wanting to purchase an Ipod touch. I couldn't even blink when buying it, and was salivating like a dog. As the tiny gadget leaped into my palm it shined gold. I vowed that I'd never wash my right hand again!
The next time there's ever pure excitement on my face it'll probably be after I land a job with either the Apple company or the Apple Store.

Mamarama's Today show & I'm gonna miss you atx!!!

"It's your birthday, it's your birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday", this is the song I dream of singing at an airport terminal with a bunch of other friends wishing one very special friend Happy Birthday before he goes bon voyage off to a distant land. What can I say? I'm in love with my imagination, so much that I can have sex with it! I'm still sorta bugged by the killing of All My Children's sweet & adorable Stuart. How can the former #1 soap opera kill off one of the most beloved characters? All My Children used to be one of the most popular soaps on daytime tv and now the quality of the show has deteriorated and it piles into the should be cancelled category. But going back to Stuart he was a wise old man honestly their portrayers spend years playing the character it's almost like they exist in real life, so when they fall prey to tragedy it's almost as painful as loosing someone very close to you. So yeah that's pretty much been the story of today getting tormented by depression revolving around why extremely soft-spoken people dodge bullets in order to protect someone they love. That's the key word right there 'soft-spoken' meaning they'd succumb to any method including sacrificing their own lives just to protect somebody dear to them. Anyway you all must be thinking what's this dumbass talking about well here you go, F.Y.I I'm a soap buff and All My Children was one-half my childhood along with the Simpsons and most of the Golden Age Nicktoons. And naturally your childhood always remains your comfort zone therfore you act strongly according to such impulses no matter how ludicrous it may seem. And besides I'm all about dramatic content. Can you shout out M for Melodrama.
So apparently Pluckers was having this guess that movie contest and then a guess that song contest. The prize: No fuckin clue cuz I was trying to tune into the motherfuckin Cavs game even though it was on mute! Fun shit tho I still remember when the UT Pluckers was as bland as an old, unhygenic Tejano restaurant. Hmmmm.....whatever happened to El Patos? I used to go there all the time down in the Valley. *Uggghh* the Valley I can't believe I'll have to temporarily move down there for an undetermined amount of time. It all depends on how soon I can land a job and in today's economy I'll require a numerous blessings! My departure from Austin in a few days is really beginning to bother me, so much that I may actually begin to get weepy cornering myself in my tiny bathroom. UT Austin and Austin in general have carved a special place in my heart it'll be really difficult to part ways with this magnificent city after being a settler for a good six years. I'm sure gonna miss sixth street along with busy streets filling up downtown. I'm also gonna miss my pointless adventures with my good buddy along with the anonymous girl that I truly admire. I'm also gonna miss Barton Creek, driving on 360, Hill Country, the fine dining, the sexy women, the empathy from the townsfolks, Austin chess club, Epochs, Central Market, Whole Foods, Bookpeople, Prague, fifth street, the places I've never been to, Gregory Gym, UT, Jester, Dobie, the places out on the drag, and oh yeah did I forget to mention sixth street. Now I'm gonna make a wholehearted effort in trying to land my ass back in atx in the coming months and hopefully I'll emerge victoriously. If not then so long colorful city you'll bring back so many good memories if I ever share an emotional reunion with you.
Then only other place I'd prefer living and working in would be New York City. It would be like heaven on earth if I had the wonderful opportunity of jetting to Vegas four times a year and then to Austin two times a year while living in the Big Apple!